Tag: diary

The revelation: I have got Vestibular Neuritis!

The two months of me constantly wining to my wife about how bad I feel and my wife’s Googling for the symptoms have finally paid of. Two days¬†after I purchased the chiropractor package, she has announced that I have got a vestibular neuritis. I’ve checked the symptoms, everything matched. Okay, so I didn’t have a heart attack and I’m not getting crazy from some unknown disease. Great! Gotta make an appointment with ENT. Which on the next day confirmed the diagnosis. He gave me more Betaserc and anti dizziness pills, told me I’m gonna be fine in a month or so (since VN normally take three months to recover and I was on my second month) and off I went.

So in that regard I was relieved, at least now I knew my enemy by its name. My spirit have received a boost, physically I wasn’t feeling much better. One of the symptoms was that I would sit on a couch and I would start having this worrying feeling, I hadn’t been scared, but was just nagging worrying feeling that is hard to describe. And that wording feeling made me worried that I’m going nuts or something. Normally I would have it in the morning and in the evening. I guess while I was working during the day, I didn’t have much time to notice it.

Getting out has continued to be a major struggle. So I was mostly venturing outside with my wife by my side. I’ve tried jogging, but I started running, about 200 meters in I felt unsteady again, my heart rate shot up and that was it, I’ve decided to put running on hold. Instead I’ve started doing vestibular exercises. I could do most of them without an issue, I wasn’t feeling dizzy much. Except may be when I had to do the eye movements. Don’t know if those did me any good, I’ve stopped doing those after about three weeks or so.

Meanwhile I started doing to regular chiropractor neck adjustments. I would have an anxiety and fear going into each session and then after each neck adjustment I would feel a floating sensation in my head and tightness in the neck for about 3-4 hours after each session. So obviously I hadn’t been looking to a next chiropractor visit. About a month into sessions I read about a death of some sort of C-list celebrity, which died from torn artery after a neck adjustment. This made my even more anxious and afraid of each neck adjustment.

Eventually I decided enough is enough, got a letter from ENT that I’m not supposed to do neck adjustments and canceled my contract with the chiropractor clinic.

Overall I’ve been getting better in terms of not feeling “unstable” and being afraid to pass out on the street, at the same time the level of anxiety of being on the street, of meeting people, of social visits, I think it had been actually rising.

I was supposed to go on a business trip in a month, the first one after the acute VN phase in July. Reluctantly I’ve booked the tickets. I had no idea how I’m going to survive it; inside I was just panicking…

Vistibular Neuritis: Day two

The morning has arrived. I was still feeling shaken, unstable, with the tightness in my chest. But in overall I was a bit better than the evening before, I guess my body adopted a little to the initial shock. Still it sucked. Somehow I made it through two days of meetings. But when I went to a company dinner I was just shaking while sitting at the table and trying to appear normal while holding chitchats with my colleagues. I didn’t know at the time that I shouldn’t be drinking coffee or alcohol and I was drinking both. So when I had a couple of glasses of wine, I started feeling spacious and anxious. Btw I didn’t know or rather didn’t use anxiety or panic attack terms at that time, I learned about those latter. Anyhow I lasted about half an hour at the table and then had to come up with a reason to leave. After that I was sticking to in-room dining. 

Last day, time to fly home. I was feeling a bit better, in particular because I thought I have figured the reason for the dizziness: I was taking an antibiotic at that time, a common side effect for those being vertigo and disiness. Once I’ve found that information I was sort of relieved, I have found the reason for my sickness, now I just need to stop taking antibiotics and in a few days I will be alright. Hence the reason for my better than average in the past few days mood. But the morning had a surprise for me, there was a revolt in Istanbul, my flight was canceled and I had to fly via China with China Air. I barely made it to my connecting flight in Frankfurt, I had to run between terminals to be able to catch my flight. It was my first time running in a week.  I made it to the flight. The plane, the food, and Beijing airport sucked balls. But that’s a differen story. I made it home. I was relieved. 

I was still feeling unstable, but not as much. Next day, while driving I had this sudden tightness in my chest, I sort of froze in fear, couldn’t even speak. In a minute or so I was able to take control of the situation and appeared to feeling normal again. But it was the first sign of the driving problems to come. 

In two days I had to leave on another business trip. Not much to tell about it. I kept feeling unstable and scared. I had to bail out on another dinner with colleagues, because I suddenly felt spacious and had a floating sensation. I made it back home. More worried than before. The time has come to talk to a doctor…